Monday, August 08, 2005

轉載:卅五歲男人。詹仁雄

天啊,寫到心坎裡了...雖然還有九年才卅五歲...
--------------------------------------------------------

小時候 一直期待長大

因為可以抽煙喝酒 賭博 交女友 開車狂飆
一個人住 與朋友瞎混到天亮 和任性的亂花錢

在兩個月我就正式的成為35歲的熟男了
再也不能用實歲虛歲的花招來調整自己希望的年紀

我 就是35歲了
四捨五入就是四十歲

悲慘一些的講法
我是 國中女生眼中的歐吉桑

如今我一個人住
每天開時速可以到250公里的車上班
下班後 多的是一堆豬朋狗友和美眉等著我夜夜笙歌......
如果我高興 提款卡總是有足夠的金額讓我揮霍

昨天我還接到銀行女專員甜美的電話
詢問我是否要辦無限卡
感覺自己似乎可以無限的享樂

照理講 我小時候的願望大部分都實現了
然後呢?我快樂嗎?

老實講 我真的不知道
.......然後的問題最難瞭解

我現在大部分的人生和工作分不開
假日不是在家看錄影帶就是洗洗車擦擦地
戶外活動 主要的地點是華納威秀
我每天都在期待好萊塢的大牌明星和導演能認真工作
我就不用冒險去看一些爛片

為什麼不去完成願望?

問的好!

因為我現在喝掛就要用兩天來補宿醉的體力
會痛苦地發我自己都不信的毒誓
(譬如再喝酒就剁手指斷腳筋之類的)

而且第二天朋友嘲笑我喝醉的糗態
也讓我悔意萬分

打個三圈麻將就手腳冰冷更別提熬夜
要發動車引擎 一定要確定目的地有停車位

至於美眉
如果要結婚的
必須考慮背景脾氣學歷品行
身體健不健康和家人喜不喜歡

不結婚的
就要看身材好不好 有不有趣
還有她的嘴巴緊不緊 或者會不會太認真

那些當年陪你失戀淋雨奔跑在大馬路的哥們
你心情不好的時候 沒人會支持你在淋雨或奔跑

他們會建議你在制服店或便服店做個選擇
而且 不會有人陪你到天亮
因為老婆會起疑

還有 我不曉得 我有錢要買什麼
貴的買不起 便宜的看不上
我失去我的消費能力

清楚的講
花錢並不能解決空虛
最重要的是
我所有的消遣不能讓人認為我玩物喪志

最好跟工作有關
很不自由 對嗎?

以上所有我不自由的原因
除了生理的限制外
只有一個 就是我35歲了

我是一個成年男人
成年男人有很多事是不能做的
成年男人必須莊重
成年男人必須實際
成年男人必須有固定的收入
這是責任也是義務

如果你想做一個世俗眼光下稱職的優秀男人
如果你想通過社會標準
讓關心你的人不擔心......
放棄浪漫和瘋狂籍貫是進入成人世界的前提......

也許是我多心
但我實在看過太多太多抱著可愛人生觀的成年男性
被為數眾多的歐吉桑圍剿的慘狀

甚至有些加害者是女性
整個社會對成年男性的期待
很緊張......
這是社會集體教育男性重要的課程

因此 我謹慎的打拼工作
以全公司興亡為己任
以全家人過得好為目標
學著
難過不流眶h苦不出聲
孤單不害怕
動機非常單純
我只是想做好一個正確的成年男人

雖然 我到現在還體會不到打高爾夫球的樂趣
也實在喝不出12年和15年威士忌的差別
當然也無法說服自己用錢去買到愛情

漫畫比商業週刊吸引我
高興時會學周星馳的笑聲
看到百貨公司的電動玩具專櫃會分心
與老友見面喜歡筆畫功夫招式
捉弄女同事仍是我上班最大樂趣
和喜歡的人在一起還會撒嬌......

在兩個月就三十五歲了
我知道35歲的男人有些事是不能做的......
我為努力 放棄一些習慣
做個大家認為的好的成年男人......

我叫詹仁雄
上次這麼專心的寫我的名字
是考大學聯考的時候
我那時青春輪廓的線條
跟試紙上的簽名一樣清晰

你呢?
還年輕嗎?

我勸你大聲哭 大聲笑
大力的擁抱你愛的人

因為時間過去了 有些事你就得妥協了......

6 comments:

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非天舞 said...

这首诗写的不错,呵呵

云儿 said...

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